Personal

Restless in Seattle (well outside of Seattle)

Ever have that feeling like you should be doing more than you already are?  I know I have.  Being a single mom already comes with its stresses and never ending to do list but I feel like I should just be doing MORE.  I’ve tried to be ok with what I do and be ok with not doing more but then I get this restless feeling.  I love my girls, I really do but I also love my career and my business.  I’m the type of mother that could never be a stay at home mom (props to those who do it and love it!) but I can’t just be satisfied with that.  Then again, I can’t be satisfied with all the balls I’m juggling now. 

I even feel like I’m not doing enough when I’ve got so many things going on.  I wish I could just sit on the couch and have a Netflix marathon but I feel like I should be doing more so I am.  I started working out first thing in the morning, started reading books that are inspirational (currently reading Restless by Jennie Allen and Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey), make sure my planner is as up to date as possible, anything really that helps me get rid of this feeling.  Three weeks in and I still feel that way. 

I also felt that way when I started my business.  I thought maybe this is what I am supposed to be doing, that way I can be satisfied and be around more for my girls.  As a single mom, the flexibility of having my own schedule is like a myth.  There’s no way that I could be able to work a job and have the flexibility to be around for all the activities that my girls wanted to do.  It’s possible but what no one told me was that it wouldn’t be easy in the beginning.  Having your own business is HARD and it’s been slowly growing.  It’s constantly taking care of your customers, making sure they are happy with the products they are receiving, and ensuring I have the inventory on hand.  AND even after working my business (aside from my regular job), I still feel restless.   

Then comes the other ideas to help with this feeling.  For the last 6 months, I had even toyed with the idea of obtaining my CPA certification.  Yeah, I know that by doing that, I’d have absolutely no free time.  My days would be consumed with my regular duties: work, chores, girls activities and homework, and then my own studying.  Oh but it doesn’t stop there….I’ve even contemplated with getting two more certifications that would take almost just as much time studying.

So what do I do now?  I just don’t know.  I want to be happy with how my life is right now, I don’t want to feel this way but I just have to find out why I’m so restless.  That, my friends, is a work in progress. 

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